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Part 9. Look what Knights Army did!

Friday 9th March started like any other Friday. Woke up, pillow and me covered in my own pixie hair, right tit swollen and two kids to get to school. All good. Pixie hair now super thin and a bit old lady, so the decision was made to take Parisian spy wig out for her first public run, duly instagrammed from the  (parked for the law enforcers amongst you) car.

Got to work and set the team up with a naming competition for her – my sexy French alter ego. Then went straight in to the best appraisal of my life which, fortunately, was mainly to do with my performance over the last year and only a bit about having cancer! It couldn’t have been a better boost given that my aim is to continue working unless my body tells me otherwise. It’s good for my head and I love my job and my team.

Then I went and got my picc line flushed, bloods taken and a fresh dressing. Jess the IV nurse made me happy because she was super speedy and efficient – last 2 appointments have gone on and on. But she did confirm my blood pressure is low which explains wigfest crash and another yesterday (Saturday 10th). Boring.

Anyway, got that done and headed to school run. Once home my 2 dads were finishing up a bunch of diy jobs I’ve ignored for years which made me hugely happy and grateful. Less shit, things that now actually work and fresh paint! Heroes.

Mum then came up with some things to drop off and hung about to say hi to Di who was coming over to get rid of what was less Halle Berry and more thinning 80 something. N went to a mates and G was downstairs looking at clothes online. With hindsight I now see why she wasn’t in her usual spot on her bed….

Di arrived and gave me a card to open from a very lovely man we know through choir and mutual friends. A card that wet my eyes as it contained such beautiful, thoughtful words. She also handed me a set of posh brand nail varnish knowing I’m wearing dark colours to protect my chemo nails. Then she buggered off out to her car again.

My head was so full of the day so far I didn’t think twice about anything that any of them were doing at this point. She came back in with a large gift bag and I’ll be honest, my first thought was that she’d bought me a track suit or similar having seen me in a woeful combo of comfy clothes a couple of weeks ago. But it wasn’t a fancy trackie… THEY had done this…..

THE wig. I’d been waiting on a price from Di’s friend for THE wig. Meantime Di had opened a bottle of wine one night and within a week had my BEAUTIFUL friends come together and buy it for me. What the vid doesn’t capture is that we all cried, I shook quite a lot, did more swearing and possibly crushed a couple of Di’s ribs with several giant hugs. Overwhelmed doesn’t do the way I felt/feel justice. There are less than a handful of times that I can think of when I’ve been totally surprised and the fact that Di decided to instigate and organise this, and friends I utterly adore all said they were ‘in’, blows my already chemo addled mind. It makes me feel so loved and genuinely throws me off enough that I’m finding it hard to articulate how their thought and generosity makes me feel. Writing about it even makes my eyes fill up. I need to give each of them a giant rib-crushing cuddle too.

She’s been named already. Capitan KP (Kristy) wisely pointed out she ought to be Whitney, cos I’m the Queen Emma Knight! So Whitney she is, Queen of the Night and of all things fabulous!!

This topped off a week filled with other acts of love-filled kindness: I had dinner with the whole of the T-Dad (Trev) side of my family on Tuesday which filled me with love; I ate curry with my brothers Wednesday which also filled me with love, and wind; I have received books written by my parents talented friend; luscious creams for my chemo skin; hand-made, beautiful cushions to bring comfort after surgery; more reading material and gorgeous lavender bath things; had all my laundry done (!); been bought food; a diffuser to make my home smell and feel calm and delicious; handmade golden turmeric paste; and the offer of the use of my gorgeous friends house…in fucking Grenada(the Caribbean one!!) when I’m able to do an 8 hour flight. Whitney will LOVE that. And at work I’ve been made endless hot drinks and been shown the same amount of love and kindness by very special people.

I ADORE humans. Especially the ones I’m surrounded by. With this amount of love, kindness and support, when cancer brings me down, which it will, I don’t stay down for long.

Oh. And I’m now nearly bald and weirdly quite like it. In contrast to the consensus that I “…can’t get cancer cos I’ll look like a c**t with no hair”, I feel pretty damn good. Grey and patchy but chemo will deal with that. It’ll all fall out! I haven’t shaved my armpits for 2 weeks and they’re hairless! I’ll stop there. And the best bit. My girls. My fucking stunning, compassionate, life affirming, funny girls are alright with it too. That’s all I need.

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